Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
