it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
