what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
