That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I am puke
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
