Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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