This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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