I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im holly from the hills drunk
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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