This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Shame - the story of my life.
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