He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
