I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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