im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
