I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
