4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
