what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
