if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
