Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
