one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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