Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
