been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
She even gives head with a lisp.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
