U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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