Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
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