Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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