i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
