Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
