I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
