I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
