Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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