She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
