So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
