Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
