What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
