Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
