Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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