CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Still dying that you shit outside
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
