I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
