On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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