I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My liver just had a heart attack.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Randomize
