:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hippo gnu deer
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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