): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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