So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
