Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
