My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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