im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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