You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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