I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
