My cat gives me a boner
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
