your thong is hanging out like whoa
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
