Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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