There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
