I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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